What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet - William Shakespeare

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in German Vogue,  casually just being the most beautiful woman in the world...

One may live without bread, not without roses - Jean Richepin



Again, The Ridiculously stunning, Rosie in Harpers Bazaar

 



Just remember its not whats underneath your christmas tree that matters, its who's around it thats important - Jack Daniels

Merry Christmas x

"I'm not like John Lennon, who thought he was the great Almighty. I just think I'm John Lennon" - Noel Gallagher

"You may say I'm a dreamer..."
John Lennon Died 31 years ago today.





“Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.” - Wilma Rudolph

Wilma Rundolph, or as the Italians named her  "La Gazzella Negra" (the Black Gazelle)

Wilma Rudolph was born prematurly in 1940, in Bethlehem, Tennessee and the 20th of 21 children. As a child she contracted a strain of polio that left her with a twisted leg and wearing a leg brace for 3 years.

She did not let this harbour her dreams of becomming an athlete and when the brace came off she started working  hard at her sports. This resulted in her obtaining a track scholarship to University and a place in the 1960 Olympic games in Rome. She become the fastest woman on earth and the first american woman to win 3 gold medals in track and feild during a single Olympic games. Afterwards she became a civil rights and womans rights pioneer.

Wilma also went on to become a teacher after she graduated from University and actually she was already married and had a daughter when she went to the Rome Olympics. Pretty much an all round inspirational person and a classic example of not letting shit get in your way. If you want it, go get it, period.

Sadly , Wilma died of cancer in 1994 but her legacy and inspiration lives on. R.I.P x 

“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.” - Aristotle

Steve Jobs Speaking at Stanford University 2005, Please listen to this, its Pretty Amazing.

“Find something you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life” - Harvey MacKay

True Story



“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." - Charles Dickens

Its a Wonderful life, The Prozac of Christmas.

12 days of Christmas movies

Do you need a little help to get in the festive spirit in the run up to Christmas? These classic films will do the trick, start watching one a day, 12 days before Christmas day. By the time you have finished watching all these you will be dishing out “Merry Christmas’s” to random passer by’s and singing “Mistletoe and Wine” into the face of traffic wardens in the street.

Home alone -1990

John Hughes hilarious film about the McAllister family who head to Paris for Christmas and forget to take their son Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) leaving him literally home alone. He learns how to live, fight off burglars and valuable lessons about the importance of family. This film is a classic that made Culkin a star and one of Michael Jacksons best sleepover buddies.

Home alone 2 – lost in New York -1992

One of the few examples in film where the sequel is better than the original. This film is a Goliath in terms of Christmas films. This time Kevin gets lost in New York at Christmas. It’s even funnier than the first movie and a must in the run up to Christmas.

It’s a wonderful life – 1946

It’s in black and white but that doesn’t matter as it’s a timeless classic. It’s also probably your grandparents favourite Christmas movie and with good reason. The film sees George (Jimmy Stewart) have a really bad day and then realise that the beauty in life is not about money, career or materialistic positions, it’s about family and friends. He learns all these lessons on a very stressful Christmas Eve. This film will warm even the most emotionally detached of hearts.

Miracle on 34 street -1994

A remake of the 1947 classic, this film is a heart warming story of one mans mission to prove Santa Clause actually does exist and forces us to ask ourselves the deepest of life’s questions, “Are you a believer?” Be prepared It’s pretty Magical stuff.

Tim Burton nightmare before Christmas – 1993

This film is now officially a cult classic. Finally a film that’s aimed for those who like their Christmas theme black instead of red. It’s an animated Tim Burton classic with songs in it with such festive lyrics like “There are children throwing snowballs, instead of throwing heads.” Beautiful.

The Grinch – 2000

Starring Jim Carrey in his over the top best. He was made for this role. It’s all about the miserable Grinch and his quest to steal Christmas. Eventually you realise that the poor Grinch is just misunderstood and not as evil as first thought, a little like that next door neighbour everyone had when they were kids, who refused to return all the footballs that accidently got kicked in his garden.

Elf – 2003

This is one of the funniest Christmas movies ever. Will Ferrell is a comedy genius as Buddy the Elf who after being raised by Elf’s returns to the real world but has problem fitting in with hilarious consequences. He also falls in love along the way. A feel good comedy for the whole family and essential for getting into the Christmas spirit.

The Holiday -2006

This film is about 2 couples who are accidently thrown together at times that are not suitable. Starring Jack black, Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslett and Jude law. All the actors are smooth, have great chemistry with each other and its all very easy viewing. Ideal for the unrealistic romantic.

National lampoons Christmas – 1989

Chevy Chase plays the dad who just wants to go away and have an amazing family Christmas vacation. Naturally nothing runs smoothly which results in this being a laugh out loud Christmas cracker.

Santa Clause The Movie -1985

A true classic. Dudley Moore stars in this amazing feel good story. If you haven’t seen this film then something seriously went wrong in your childhood. Correct this travesty by watching it at once. Then watch it again because this is the heroin of Christmas films, once is never enough.

Love Actually -2003

This Richard Curtis film has become a modern British classic and dishes out tons of festive time romance with a great all star class. It also has a very Christmassy soundtrack. If your idea of the perfect gift in your stocking this Christmas would be a relationship to complete you then this is the film perfect for you. Enjoy.

Bad Santa – 2003

This is a hard edged comedy that is perhaps not for the whole family as it does contain some profanity. Billy Bob Thornton is superb starring as the main character in the film. He is a foul mouthed, bitter, depressed alcoholic who ends up being Santa in a department store. It’s very funny and if the thought of a heartfelt Christmas makes you be a bit sick in your mouth then this is the film for you.

If you have watched all these films in the run up to Christmas and are still not in the festive spirit than your name is either Ebenezer or you’re emotionally and spiritually dead and have all the makings of a serial killer.

"I always knew I was a star And now, the rest of the world seems to agree with me". - Freddie Mercury

December the 1st is World Aids day

"All men dream, But not Equally" - T.E Lawrence

Dream big like this guy. Photography by Nadav Kander.

"In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty" - Christopher Morley

Brad never stood a fucking chance.

“I had a lot of dates but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.” - Andy Warhol



No , its not a Vienetta ice cream , its a shirt.








First dates are easy to get, it’s impressing your date enough to get a second date that’s the tricky part. Your potential future happiness rides on your success in the first instance. The first date can be a minefield, but relax; we are here to help you combat this anxiety.


First of all, with regards to paying, guys should pay for the first date, don’t ask why those are just the rules. Afterwards though it should always be 50/50. Thanks to the marching suffragettes and bra burning feminist’s everything’s fair now in 2011, so cough up all you equally paid ladies. Guys should still hold doors open though, obviously.  Now here are some standard bulletproof do's and don’ts to the first date.


DON’T- greet your date by pointing and winking at them, unless your name is 'The Fonz' as this will just make them most likely be a bit sick in their mouths.


DO - give good eye contact when talking or listening to your date. No eye contact just screams lack of confidence and no ones finds that attractive. Unless of course your date is prone to acts of domestic violence, then it’s ideal.


DONT - give eye contact when not talking or listening to your date, that’s just staring...and your date is getting freaked out by it and regretting that they haven’t brought a rape whistle. Stop. 


DO - tell your date they look good. Perhaps drop a subtle complement when you first see them like a simple 'you look nice'. Not to enthusiastic though like an "OOOFFTT!” followed by a compliment regarding any parts of their body, as you don’t really want to sound like Keith Lemon or that you’re just out of prison.


DON’T - compliment your date on obscure facts that you only know because you Facebooked stalked the shit out of them. It’s so creepy.


DO - have a get out now clause, because sometimes there’s no point dragging a dead horse and wasting everyone’s time. If the other person's face or voice is having a nerve gas like effect on you, leave. Txt a friend and ask them to call you up in the middle of the date crying about some real personal bullcrap stuff that they need you to console them with instantly. Tell your date that you obviously must comply swiftly as they’ve previously made two failed suicide attempts and you can hear Adele's 'Someone like you' playing full blast in the background. Probably best to change your number.


DON’T - agree to meet up anywhere remote like woods or on an abandoned golf course. Also if they turn up wearing gloves and a balaclava, instantly call it off. Chances are they are carrying a concealed Weapon. So don’t hang around and ask that old cheesy question 'is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me', because the answer will probably be yes to both. Run like forest.


DO - laugh at their jokes, even if they are rank. It makes the other person feel funnier and therefore more relaxed which can remove tension and perhaps later underwear. Result. 


DON’T - Drop pedophile jokes or any jokes that begin with "I’m not racist or anything but..." you most likely are being racist. Plus no one was ever turned on by a pedophile joke, unless they’re on a national register of some sort and if so, good luck with that.

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” -Bob Marley

Bob knew what he was talking about, probably because he only smoked the good shit. One Love.

"When in doubt wear red" - Bill Blass

Daphne Guinness for Vanity Fair by Michael Roberts

"I love his music because he was my generation. But then again, Elvis is everyone's generation, and he always will be". - Margaret Thatcher

Back in the day,  Maggie was all over this, the old minx.

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.” - Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali and some random 4 scousers nobodys ever heard off.

This is the legend of Cassius Clay,
The most beautiful fighter in the world today.
He talks a great deal, and brags indeed-y,
of a muscular punch that's incredibly speed-y.
The fistic world was dull and weary,
... But with a champ like Liston, things had to be dreary.
Then someone with color and someone with dash,
Brought fight fans are runnin' with Cash.
This brash young boxer is something to see
And the heavyweight championship is his des-tin-y.
This kid fights great; he’s got speed and endurance,
But if you sign to fight him, increase your insurance.
This kid's got a left; this kid's got a right,
If he hit you once, you're asleep for the night.
And as you lie on the floor while the ref counts ten,
You’ll pray that you won’t have to fight me again.
For I am the man this poem’s about,
The next champ of the world, there isn’t a doubt.
This I predict and I know the score,
I’ll be champ of the world in ’64.
When I say three, they’ll go in the third,
So don’t bet against me, I’m a man of my word.
He is the greatest! Yes!
I am the man this poem’s about,
I’ll be champ of the world, there isn’t a doubt.
Here I predict Mr. Liston’s dismemberment,
I’ll hit him so hard; he’ll wonder where October and November went.
When I say two, there’s never a third,
Standin against me is completely absurd.
When Cassius says a mouse can outrun a horse,
Don’t ask how; put your money where your mouse is!
I AM THE GREATEST!

Muhammad Ali

The Greatest and the King

"People don't realize what they had till it's gone. Like President Kennedy - nobody like him. The Beatles, there will never be anything like them. Like my man, Elvis Presley. I was the Elvis of boxing" - Muhammad Ali

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” ― Muhammad Ali



Who's going to tell him he's wrong?



How to not fuck up your life in the first year of uni.

We've all been here...

                                             
You have survived fresher’s week. You have been forced into mixing with a bunch of strangers, getting drunk with them in order to numb the awkwardness of them being strangers and now everyone’s your new best friend for life. Your light Facebook stalking has probably gone into overdrive and as a result your Facebook friends list has sky rocketed. Result. 


But everyone now also knows that you got so drunk that on the 1st night out you offended your new flatmates, passionately cavorted with someone who might have been Muammar Gaddafi's twin brother, thrown up, passed out and soiled your own bed sheets. Relax we’ve all been there. 


But for future reference here are some pointers to avoid the pitfalls of ruining your life in the 1st year of Uni and remaining semi alive.


Money


Vintage stores are not as cheep as they used to be. You need a bike because the cost of weekly tubes is the same as that of a mortgage. So you need a job, so get a job , send out CV's to every bar and shop in London , go to jobs fair, check the UAL careers website. It’s very good. For smokers, say hello to roll ups.


If your skint don’t resort to shoplifting, you will most likely just get caught and it could ruin your chances of a career. If your shoplifting and your not skint then your either greedy or have got adrenalin rush issues so you probably wont even be reading this as you’ll be to busy having sex with a stranger on the Northern line.


Don’t get involved in the sex trade. Yeh I know before you say it, "a bitch got bills to pay! “ I hear ya!  But honestly speaking from experience the pension plans always terrible and it will only make whatever low self esteem issues you clearly already have even worse. No judgements though.


Don’t spend your student loan at the Apple store. Unless your major depressed, then go ahead, you’re worth it. Who cares?


There is a lot of cool free stuff that happens, check the UAL website and save your money for important things like morning after pills and dry shampoo. Pay rent and Uni fees on time, they will chase you like Taliban insurgents until you do pay.


Some will feel homesick, they will miss the family Labrador and the thought of not seeing him till Christmas is simply out of the question. In emergencies like these there’s Megabus. They are the cheapest method of transport. If you book earlier enough you can travel 1 way for £1.




Health


The lemon in your tequila doesn’t count towards your 5 a day.
After the constant partying, you will be looking rough, pale, bloated or malnourished. Try and eat healthy, stick to the boring stuff like fruit and veg.


Join a gym, one of the cheapest is Pure Gyms, there is no joining fee, it’s roughly £20 per month and open 24hrs. Or there are many parks in London, jog round them. Sweat out the toxins for free. You don’t have to keep up with everyone with regards to alcohol consumption. No one bows to peer pressure anymore, it’s so lame.


Safe sex is not for wimps. It’s for people who at the moment don’t want kids or genital warts. You have the rest of your lives to enjoy these things. You will get free condoms, use them. Avoid people who blow them up and put them over there face, this kind of behaviour by students is a massive social faux pas and is only really done by the lectures in their staff room. Trust me, IV seen it.


Living In Harmony


Avoid anyone who brought cuddly toys from home with them or anyone who brought weapons from home with them. Both will just turn out to be attention seekers. Trust me.  It may seem petty to set up a rota in your flat, unnecessary even, there’s no need, everyone will do it anyway and recycling is a massive priority. 


Wrong, they wont, you wont and if your the type of person that will you will probably have a breakdown at some point and if your the person that doesn’t, then your disgusting and shortly people wont enter your flat without a tetanus. 


This will create a bad atmosphere which will turn into stress and distract you from your studies, you and your flatmates will all end up hating each other and the world will explode due to you neglecting your recycling duties. 


Peers


Not everyone is a people person, some people work best alone and that’s cool as well if that’s want they want. There’s people who have lives outside Uni and are here to learn not meet soul mates. Make an effort with people but don’t pester them. Restraining orders in the name of friendship are not cool. There scary. I’m in my second year now and I no one likes or speaks to me yet. Even my tutors and lectures have all at some point spat on me. It’s made me stronger. 


Of course then there’s the other people who go and make friends and skip to class together hand in hand in joyous friendship after knowing each other for 2 mins. They people are annoying. Avoid them. 


Getting Involved


Some people love to protest for good causes. You will find these people in uni, your probably already dying to protest and march for a cause. Rest assure there will be someone here at UAL happy to get you marching for something, and we make the best banners, fact.


However , don’t be throwing fire extinguishers off roofs, deface war monuments or chucking paint at Charles and Camilla, as not only is that unacceptable and illegal , its also already been done , and we here at UAL pride ourselves on originality.


Getting The Most Out Of Uni


Go to class and Have fun but put the hard work in because one way or another you’re paying for this
new Uni life. It will be over in a flash and it would be nice to have a degree to show for it and not just foggy memories, unattractive tattoos and debt.

Life doesn't run away from nobody. Life runs at people - Smokin Joe Frazier,1944-2011 R.I.P

Joe Frazier knocks out Muhammad Ali at the Madison Square
Garden, in New York in 1971

You have to be born a sex symbol. You don't become one. If you're born with it, you'll have it even when you're 100 years old - Sophia Loren

Sophia loren , Pirelli calendar 2007, aged 73. Fucking hell...

"I am not such a dictator that I would shut down Facebook. I'll merely imprison anyone who logs in to it." - Muammar Gaddafi

That awkward moment when no bastard tells you that the fancy dress theme was cancelled.


Following the recent death/murder of Muammar Gaddafi, everyones takling about him, but what do we really know about him that is true? Was he...
a) An evil dictator and part time drag queen contestant 
b) An adorable eccentric with bond villain tendencies 
c) A fashion icon and peoples person
d) All of the above


Who knows? I’m confused what to think so I’m going to go by the old fashioned method and judge the book by its cover, or him by his appearance. Because you can’t deny when it came to his threads, this tyrant Dictator knew how to werq it! 


It’s fair to say he seemed to start of as quite good guy but then got a little crazy as the years went by, and do you know what else got crazy? His wardrobe, that’s what. The emperor’s new clothes were insane. 


The bad news is, he used to give the IRA semtex, he plotted the Lockerbie bombing, and he is supposed to have killed and tortured his own people. He also made some poor choices in his cosmetic surgeons, its not clear if he straight out asked his surgeon for the Jackie Stallone look and we will probably never know and yet somehow we must get on with living our lives.


Every paper, news programme and website in the western world will say how terrible he was, and he was, but that’s so negative, let’s concentrate on the positive because were all about living in the light and love here at Arts London News (The paper im supposed to be writing for). I mean there has to be something special about someone who can take over an entire country at the age of 27 in a bloodless revolution, right? 


In 1973 he changed his title from Prime Minister to ‘Brotherly Leader and Guide of the First of September Great Revolution of the Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya .Muammar al-Gaddafi.’ Which I’m sure you will agree has a much classier ring to it but must be a nightmare for the poor guy who was making the signs for the office door. This was only the start of his ostentatious streak. 


It’s probably fair to say that recently he looked like a hung-over drag queen that had been hit by a truck. But this was not always the case, back in the day before his faced resembled a mud slide he was a good-looking guy , When the English writer Jeffrey Bernard asked the world famous painter Francis Bacon who in the world he would most like to bed, he replied, “I’d like to fuck the pants off Colonel Qaddafi.  So it would seem he also had the Xfactor. In a sort of powerful dictator meets an Arabian Peter Stringfellow kind of way.


Whether it was the pastel blue suit adorned with gold tassels and medals, that made him look a little bit like a Thunderbird, the purple number that looked like it was inspired by something from a Quality Street box, or that classy gold bad-boy outfit with the matching hat and drapes, the man was  fearless is in choice of clothing. Some would say a tad camp for a tyrant dictator and a bit like a panto dame on steroids at times but no other African leader had mastered the fine art of accessorizing their outfits with maps of Africa. Gaddafi did and he did it with panache and bold animal print. He made Lady Gaga look like Gordon Brown.


 At the G8 summit the world leaders were all there, looking boring in there credit crunch suits. They all sneered down at Gaddafi and his flamboyant fashion ensemble, but Gaddafi knew they were all just straight up playa hating. He was rocking his monotone get up and when it came to style, Gaddafi always shut it down. He had more important things to think about anyway, like abolishing Switzerland, owning the Italian football club Juventus and becoming king of all of Africa, as you do.


Before US-NATO Invasion, Libya Had the Highest Human Development Index, The Lowest Infant Mortality, The Highest Life Expectancy, Highest purchasing power in all of Africa. Everyone had free education, free healthcare, and the highest literacy and standard of living in all of Africa. When couples got married, they receive the equivalent of over £30.000, no taxes on people who are involved in agriculture and interest free loans for housing. This is pretty good and not really made common knowlege in the west.


Lets not forget his Amazonian guards, he had 15 of his Amazonian Guards who were all female, and done up with their lipstick and nail polish. They all had to be virgins for reasons unclear. They followed him everywhere and guarded him with their buxom lives. It all made Hugh Heffner look a  bit like an amateur to be honest. He also revolutionized tent interiors and reminded us when we packed a tent, don’t forget the umbrella!


In 2003 after becoming BFF's with Tony Blair, Gaddafi abandoned Libya’s weapons of mass destruction programme, result! (It has since emerged via The Sunday Telegraph that after he was Prime Minister, Blair had 6 private meetings with Gaddafi in Tripoli. Five of those meetings took place in a 14-month period before the 2009 release of Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, the Lockerbie bomber. Also that on at least two occasions Mr Blair flew to Tripoli on a jet paid for by the Libyan government) We are not sure when the last time they hung out and played Xbox etc but its rumoured relations between them had got a little less cosy recently after Blair allegedly took his ball back, went home and didn’t return Gaddafis calls when the Libyan uprising kicked off.


So who are all these Freedom fighters and Rebels? (Remember we used to call the Taliban “rebels”? just saying...) The truth is, were not sure who they are, but we do know that they are into shooting, happy slapping and apparently sodamizing 69 old men while filming it on there mobile phones. Which is obviously hilarious but not totally professional is it? Now The U.N is demanding an enquiry into the death of Gaddafi. Which is a little like the paparazzi demanding an enquiry into the death of Princess Diana but whatever.


Yes conditions were not ideal in Libya, far from it with the human rights atrocities in all but to be honest non worse than what goes on in Saudi Arabia and we don’t give rats a derriere about what goes on there. What about the North Koreans? Or the daily deaths by machete and countless rapes that goes on in the Congo? None of our bees-wax apparently.


Of course he eventually being captured was always in the pipeline (no pun intended) but the fact that when he was finally caught, he was armed with a Golden gun makes me happy. He was literally the man with the golden gun! He was a bond villain to the end and I love him for that, all that was missing was him in his evil lair stroking a cat. But I don’t think even Ian Fleming could have invented a character as nuts as Gaddafi and Pinewood studios could not have match they costumes. But it’s not over yet, as the worlds governments have still to locate his missing billions, (it’s rumoured he may have been the richest man in the world!) So as the saga continues a charity shop somewhere in Tripoli is about to receive one hell of a wardrobe.



                                             

To forget a Holocaust is to kill twice - Elie Wiesel

Photograph from the Main Commission for the Investigation of Nazi War Crimes, courtesy of USHMM Photo Archives.
children imprisoned in Auschwitz -July 1944

Sorry to get all heavy on you guys but recently I went to the Holocaust exhibition at the Imperial War Museum and it had a profound effect on me, so I have to write about it. I told you on my profile that I would write about a mixed blend !


Most of us think we already know everything we need to know regarding the holocaust. First, we learned about it in school then perhaps saw documentaries and Hollywood movies, but the Holocaust exhibition at the Imperial war museum is an education on a different level.

It has created what feels like a time capsule that transports you right into the guts of the Holocaust, reminding the public, very quietly, of a heart wrenching reality that we would find impossible to imagine in Europe today.

It looks at how the Nazis sought to destroy all the Jews of Europe and for the first time in history, industrial methods were used for the mass extermination of a entire race of people. Six million were murdered including 1.5 million children, people with both physical or mental disabilities, Gypsies and many more other groups.

It starts of with a video introduction by 18 holocaust survivors. Their interviews are playing throughout the exhibition and they take you on an emotive journey, describing life with their families growing up before the Second World War, right through to being liberated from the concentration camps. These personal stories are very moving and are woven through this permanent exhibition.

It continues by discussing the mood of bubbling Anti-Semitism in Germany in the aftermath of the First World War. Then Hitler’s rapid rise to power and the beginning of the reign of terror, including the burning of the books, which is when Hitler ordered that all books by Jews are burned. Then a haunting quote by the German poet Heinrich Heine from 1823 is written on the wall next to it saying "where one burns books, one will in the end burn people".

There are little alcoves with other videos showing, and artefact filled cabinets with everything from the persecution of the Jewish people through history, the "pursuit of purity" regarding the Aryan race, the stripping of Jew's rights as human beings, life in the ghettos to the harrowing personal detailed accounts of life and death in Auschwitz.

It is well set out and well structured, tracing the events that unfolded with quotes on the walls. There is a host of letters, newspapers, toys, personal artefacts, uniforms, prisoner clothing, videos including speeches by Hitler (whose loud echoing voice adds a chill to the room) and some very graphic and disturbing photographs.


There is also an actual funeral cart that carried the dead from the ghettos, and a bed for practising Euthanasia on the disabled that was from a hospital Hitler set up for his “mercy killings” and a massive white model of the whole Auschwitz camp on a table.


It’s surprising how quick a couple of hours can go by as it’s deceivingly big. , every time you turn a corner you seem to find another room. It’s spaced out on two floors; it is modern, quite dark and lit with dim spot lights. Although most people in museums are quiet, everyone here really is in utter silence, no one speaks at all, I think partly because out of respect and partly because they're emerged in the shocking details provided on show.


This exhibition shows photographs and tells of the fact that thousands of Jewish women were brutally stripped and raped, something that other exhibitions don’t really discuss, but this is an exhibition that pulls no punches.


There are also inspiring stories of people who had helped the Jewish people and as well as naming and shaming by photograph and quote, previously not well known members of the Nazi regime who contributed to the slaughter in the concentration camps.


It gives accounts of gruesome details on how they removed and searched the orifices of dead bodies and what they did with the remains. A section is also dedicated to the brutal death march from the concentration camps.


Even when you leave, you still remain quiet. It almost feels like you’ve just been peeking through a door and witnessed the most shocking and disturbing murder ever. It’s definitely somewhere I would highly recommend others to go when visiting London, although personally seeing it once is enough for me.


The experience subtlety takes you by the scruff of the neck and rams the reality of this genocide down your throat. It makes sure you’re well informed of the truly inconceivable horrors these people endured, and never able to forget it and you will be glad what it’s taught you, reminding you with other quotes on the wall such as "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing " by Edmund Burke. It’s a journey of unfathomable evil, trauma, tragedy, and inspirational survival.


The holocaust exhibition is on the 3rd floor of the imperial war museum and entry is free.
Under 11's are not allowed.
Imperial war museum
Lambeth road London
SE1 6HZ

In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes - Andy Warhol



If your kids are being  influenced by any of these people you have fucked up your role as a parent, BIG TIME

Andy Warhol famously once said, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes, which is actually mathematically impossible, but perhaps what he maybe meant was that sometimes “nobody’s” will be famous for 15 minutes. That time has certainly come.

We have reached a point where we have more so called celebrities than illegal immigrants in this country, when will this stop? Do they deserve it? And what’s to be celebrated about being completely talentless?

The calibre of the word celebrity has been dramatically decreased in recent years, people who are famous for no other reason than being famous or infamous. Some have started on a reality TV show or a sex tape with a celebrity or farm animals, either way they’re building profitable but rubbish careers.

It could be said the continued downfall of the British civilization is manifested in the explosion of reality TV celebrities. This shits got to stop.

Recently we have been bombarded by this reality TV format that started with the American serious "The Hills" which was based on the lives of young people living it up in the Hollywood hills and producers here caught on and have created The only way is Essex and Made in Chelsea. America also has a show called the Jersey Shore and now there is a UK version based in Newcastle creatively named, Geordie Shore.

Out of pure morbid curiosity I decided to watch to see what all this fuss was about, after all The only way is Essex have catapulted new words into the public domain like "Reem" which I presume is Essex slang for Rent Boy. They also introduced us to Vajazzeling and now thank God they are marketing the male equivalent, Pijazzelled. They are such diverse Bastards.

The main guy in TOWIE, Mark became famous for being the mate of the widow of the late Jade Goody, who was herself, a Big Brother contestant and very successful at being famous for being talentless and cashing in. The general problem with this new easy celebrity lot is that they are glamorising being dumb and there nothing cool about that. Its constant self promotion for there own financial gain. What’s even more disturbing is that TOWIE just won a BAFTA!!! A FUCKING BAFTA ! At this rate I suppose we should probably start preparing ourselves now for Jedwards Nobel Prize speach.

In Made in Chelsea, The camp Pocahontas looking guy, who works on the door of the club, actually doesn’t. The scenes in raffles night club are filmed during the day as its members only at night and none of this Chelsea lot are members. Because they're kind of Peasants.

The worrying thing is either because our decaying public school system or because of previous head injuries, people are actually believing this scripted reality manure as real. Its not. Its scripted reality, with the emphasis being on scripted. As fake and as crap as Big Brother was at least even that wasn’t scripted.

It seems to be never ending, there’s always someone willing to spill there private scripted life into everyone’s living rooms. No one needs to know the ups and downs, the highs and lows of Peter Andre’s cheesy life. Or celebrate how many lines of cocaine Kerry katona hasn’t snorted that day, while she is being drug tested and literally provides urine samples on camera to prove to the nation she’s clean. This woman then has the cheek to moan that her privacy’s being invaded and she’s constantly being chased and followed by people; I wonder if it’s ever occurred to her that perhaps these people were actually her previous drug dealers? Note to katona: pay your debts Bitch.

But now let’s go and see a celebrity that actually has a job. Recently I interviewed Bradford born, Natalie kills who has been described as the new Lady Gaga, she’s actually from the same record label and has the same creative team. Isn’t it sad though that we already have a " new Lady Gaga" seems like 5 minutes ago she was the new Madonna, I don’t mind them selling us old ideas in a new way as long as its done without insulting anyone’s intelligence.

She seemed very dark and moody and was all about the message in songs. Hear was a culturally aware, intelligent young woman who although very stylish obviously had substance to back it up, she was talking her talk and walking her walk, and I listened, then I started to ask questions, which is when it all went a bit wrong. I asked her to describe her look in 3 words, she replied " kill your ex boyfriend clothes" obviously not a follower of stupid rules as her reply was clearly more than the 3 words requested.

I decided I would let her redeem herself by asking her my next high brow question so I asked her if David Cameron was to invite her to compete in the Olympics next year, what sport would she compete in? After a very few awkward minutes where it became clear that she had no idea who he was I eventually explained that David Cameron was our Prime Minster, she found this news quite shocking. So did I. She then told me she would probably do skateboarding. I didn’t have the heart to tell her but unfortunately skateboarding is not an Olympic sport. So she turned out to be just another well rehearsed air headed dumbfuck with a manufactured image and message.

I don’t watch much TV anymore, if any. But it’s not all bad; there are still some really good programmes on. There is Celebrity Juice, which is immature but hilarious and The 10 o’clock Show on a Thursday on Channel 4 is funny yet very politically informative. The most important thing is that we have choice, even if it’s between watching TOWIE or a cow giving birth to a calf on ITV Vet School, you have a choice to switch off your TV, pick up a book and learn something instead of wasting time watching dumb people encourage you to be as dumb as them. As long as the author of the book is not called Katie price.

A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can approach it without fear - Jack Nicholson

Photography by Carlos Serrao

Jack Nicholson - Unquestionably, still the true start of any movie set.

If you must smoke, take your butt outside. ~Author Unknown



Image: Charles Harbutt, Laurence Miller Gallery

When the smoking ban came into place four years ago, smokers originally felt they were being discriminated against by being made to go outside to have a cigarette by a society that is supposed to promote integration instead of segregation.

When out socialising in a bar they would have to leave their non smoking friends and conversations inside to walk outside and smoke in a designated naughty corner regardless of weather conditions.

It was hoped that whilst standing out in the rain like socially isolated lepers and missing all the fun inside, smokers would reflect on their disgusting habit and be encouraged to stop smoking. But unfortunately this seems to have backfired and what actually happens is the smokers go outside and take the conversation with them and leave the non smokers looking after the coats alone inside, contemplating taking up smoking just to be part of the fun and not miss out. 

Henrietta, 19 says “some of the most interesting people I’ve met on nights out, iv met whilst outside having a fag”. There is no proof to suggest that only the interesting people smoke but surely only the dull would get left behind minding the coats?

Tom, 26 is a non smoker who smokes socially when drinking says, “I smoke when I drink because I don’t like waiting on everyone inside and hearing them laughing and mingling outside, and I feel like I’m missing something. It’s also a good way to meet girls, if you see a nice girl going outside for a fag, you can run after her like Linford Christie, with a lighter and not be cautioned by a police officer for it. It has a little bit of a speed dating vibe in the smokers area, after two minutes with someone you can choose to end or pursue the conversation without feeling uncomfortable about it. Pretty soon you realise that a lot of the girls are in the same boat and only smoke when they are out at the weekends drinking because they to have noticed the potential social benefits of the outside smoking section.” Tom met his current girlfriend in the outside smoking area of a nightclub.

However, these rules still seems to be unsatisfactory and life as smokers now know it could all be about to change again when Andy Burnham, the Health Secretary reviews the current law to see if it should be strengthened to include areas like beer gardens and doorways outside public houses where smokers gather, in a yet again effort to reduce passive smoking. Simon Clark, Director of the smokers lobby group Forest, said further legislation would “further erode our ability to choose how we wish to live our lives.”
Also, in an attempt to make smokers lives more difficult a complete ban on cigarette vending machines is also proposed, removing any kind of convenience for the smoker who doesn’t intend to quit.

Figures of the national statistics office show that the number of smokers who have quit since the ban is insignificant and has dropped which suggests no significant reduction has been achieved. So you have to ask, is there any point in this? Is it even fair that smoker’s interests are not being taken into account?

When the ban became enforced there was initially a little huffing and puffing (literally)  from the smokers after they were cleansed from the non smokers ,but now, no one really minds at all. Smokers have adapted to the situation and bonded with each other over  many drunken, smoke filled  chats regarding the repressive regime of the ever lurking cigarette militia.

The smoking fan has also had a negative financial effect on a lot of pubs who blamed the ban on people choosing to stay at home rather than going to the pub to go outside and smoke. A smoking ban on doorways and beer gardens could prove to be the final nail in the pub landlord’s coffin. Analysis of statistics from CGA strategy shows that since the introduction of the smoking ban nearly 6000 pubs have closed in the UK. The extending of this ban would hit the industry even harder.

I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing - Marilyn Monroe



Photograph by Ed Feingersh

WOULD ALL POSSIBLE FUTURE EMPLOYERS LOOK AWAY NOW PLEASE.

I utterly concur with my old mate Norma Jean here. We are clearly both singing from the exact same hymm sheet.  I have precisely the same issues ! I like to think of it as "Divine Intervention" because the things that make me late are mostly obscure, bizarre, completely out of my control events and just typical bad luck.

Dont get me wrong , othertimes its random stuff like Youtube, a cheeky cigarette break at Starbucks or sometimes, just like Marilyn, something altogether more pleasing.
But theres times its been my bus thats broken down, my mobile phone also acts as my alarm clock and the battery ran out in the middle of the night or even an Elephant escape at the local zoo which  played havoc with the traffic ( yeh, I said Elephant. Thats my story and im sticking to it you pessimistic Bastard)

But for me the bottom line here is fate , there are times when your just simply supposed to be late, its all part of Gods Masterplan. If I had been on time for some of my jobs I would never have got sacked therefore I wouldnt have moved to London and you would not be reading the invaluable wisdom that you are now. Or, if I was on time I might have ran across the road at the wrong time and been knocked over by a streesed out driver who was driving erratically so he wasnt going to be late, were all intertwined in this fate shit you see. 

So the message is pretty clear, dont mess up the big guys complex plans and just go with the flow by accepting  that its your destiny, dont stress yourself out or fight against it ...just live your life like a candle in the wind for fucks sake.

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. To me, being a gangster was better than being President of the United States - Henry Hill

The Cococabana Shot, In Goodfellas



This is one of my all time favourites movie scenes ,known as "The Cococabana shot" in Martin Scorsese gangster classic, Goodfellas.

No one bestows glamour on gangsters lifestyles better than Martin Scorsese. He's made it sexy and he lets me forget that although  technically they are the bad guys, I still wanna sign up, join and become one ! If this is the kind of table service I'm going to get in restaurants, I'm in ! Just find me a horse with a head , and I'll do the rest. Capiche ?

In this scence We follow Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) and his date Karen Friedman (Lorraine Bracco) as they enter the nightclub through the back entrance, Tracking through the hallways, kitchen, and eventually the crowd in the club. This is accompanyed by the song "Then He Kissed Me" by the Crystals, which massively complements the scene.

Walking through the club the couple eventually arrive at their front row table which has been set up with careful haste. Its a happy and exciting scene where you see the result of Hills effortless gangster power, with them being treated like royalty, only they're more cooler than royalty.Like waaay fucking cooler.

What also makes this special is that its such a busy scene with so much going on yet its done in a single smooth handheld shot without cuts or edits, which is known as a Steadicam shot. The director plans the shot, but the Steadicam operator makes it happen.

In this case the Steadicam operator was the legendary Larry McConkey, who also shot Steadicam scenes in the films, Raising Cain and the opening scene in Bonfire of the Vanities, which is itself another masterpiece scene.

Operating a Steadicam is one of the most technically challenging jobs on a movie set, but done correctly, will also  achieve amazing seamless results. For a typical Steadicam shot, a cameraman must follow a predetermined route, while adjusting the camera, avoid any obstacles and still be holding the heavy camera equipment all at the same time. So basically , its Kaa-razy difficult and not as easy as it looks and feels for the viewer, but McConkey, like Scorsese is a master of his craft and these two genius bastards are those who effortlessly put the "move" in movies.

In a 2003 interview with the American Cinematographer Magazine, McConkey said, "Several times I would get to a moment when I felt the shot was starting to die, so we'd bring in another character for Ray to interact with."

Scorsese described the scene brilliantly as "Henry’s whole life being ahead of him, doors opening to him. It’s his seduction of Karen and it’s also the lifestyle seducing him”.

McConkey went on to say,"I deliberately tried to take on the role of an audience member and behave as a surrogate character that responds on their behalf. I thought of myself as a tour guide driving a bus, a sports car or a boat, gently leading the audience to anticipate a turn or surprising them with a sudden curve." He totally delivered, its perfection.

Incredibly,this scene only took eight shots and it was done, it would have taken even fewer but Henny Youngman who played himself as the comedian on stage at the end, kept fluffing up his lines. Can you imagine how pissed off everyone mustv been after doing all that work and even though so much in the sequence could easily go wrong at any moment it didn't, until the guy ( who is playing himself !) cocked it all up at the very end with his couple of lines !he mustv felt like a right proper Jackass!

Anyway we will forgive the old Jackass as all's well that ends well I suppose and it still turned out easily one of cinema's most coolest movie scenes. I remember every part of it and I love how perfect the song fits it.

To this day every time I meet a girl while I'm drunk for the first time and she asks me what I do for a living, I say "Construction" hoping this will provoke a laugh as she gets the joke and that I'm obviously a witty motherfucker who's quoting Ray Liotta in Goodfellas.But sometimes this just gets a bland response , and then a confused looking one when I awkwardly try to explain that I'm not, it was a joke, a quote from a movie. This is then followed by me feeling like a pathetic loser for a second, until I think well actually, if your the kind of person that's not seen Goodfellas yet , were probably going to have Jackshit in common anyway. This is because there are two types of people in the world : those who have watched Goodfellas and those who haven't, the latter category have been scientifically proven more likely to drown their own babies. Stay away from them....and go stick on Goodfellas.

Its a beautiful woman's fate to be the subject of conversation where ever she goes - Oscar Wilde



Photography by Boo George



Barbara Palvin - Easily one of the most beautiful faces in the world

I found this in my email, I actually sent it to my law lecturer, clearly still drunk when I wrote it...oh dear.

Hey Jacqui
Im terribly sorry but with great regret I wont be able to make it in today due to an unfortunate bobsleigh accident. It happened Yesterday while I was in Papa New Guinea, where I had been visiting some diplomatic dignitaries at the embassy to personally thank them after they foiled a cunning kidnapping plot against me by some church of scientology extremists.The ambassador also wanted to discuss my knowledge of the J. Dempster teachings of employment law.
Speaking of employment law , and my knowledge of it, im aware that today is the assesment for it and therefor its highly unlikley that im going to make it in. Naturally this has caused me manic hysteria and colosal heartbreak.
But armed with my acute inability to ever give up hope in times of adversity and a work ethic to surpass the Fuhrer Adolf Hitler on crystal meth, I boldly look forward to the next battle, aka the re-assesment, which I will be more than happy to have a crack at the whip at when you set a date thats convenient.
Talking of whips , please find attached inappropriate photographs of me as requested.
see you wednesday


Dean