In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes - Andy Warhol



If your kids are being  influenced by any of these people you have fucked up your role as a parent, BIG TIME

Andy Warhol famously once said, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes, which is actually mathematically impossible, but perhaps what he maybe meant was that sometimes “nobody’s” will be famous for 15 minutes. That time has certainly come.

We have reached a point where we have more so called celebrities than illegal immigrants in this country, when will this stop? Do they deserve it? And what’s to be celebrated about being completely talentless?

The calibre of the word celebrity has been dramatically decreased in recent years, people who are famous for no other reason than being famous or infamous. Some have started on a reality TV show or a sex tape with a celebrity or farm animals, either way they’re building profitable but rubbish careers.

It could be said the continued downfall of the British civilization is manifested in the explosion of reality TV celebrities. This shits got to stop.

Recently we have been bombarded by this reality TV format that started with the American serious "The Hills" which was based on the lives of young people living it up in the Hollywood hills and producers here caught on and have created The only way is Essex and Made in Chelsea. America also has a show called the Jersey Shore and now there is a UK version based in Newcastle creatively named, Geordie Shore.

Out of pure morbid curiosity I decided to watch to see what all this fuss was about, after all The only way is Essex have catapulted new words into the public domain like "Reem" which I presume is Essex slang for Rent Boy. They also introduced us to Vajazzeling and now thank God they are marketing the male equivalent, Pijazzelled. They are such diverse Bastards.

The main guy in TOWIE, Mark became famous for being the mate of the widow of the late Jade Goody, who was herself, a Big Brother contestant and very successful at being famous for being talentless and cashing in. The general problem with this new easy celebrity lot is that they are glamorising being dumb and there nothing cool about that. Its constant self promotion for there own financial gain. What’s even more disturbing is that TOWIE just won a BAFTA!!! A FUCKING BAFTA ! At this rate I suppose we should probably start preparing ourselves now for Jedwards Nobel Prize speach.

In Made in Chelsea, The camp Pocahontas looking guy, who works on the door of the club, actually doesn’t. The scenes in raffles night club are filmed during the day as its members only at night and none of this Chelsea lot are members. Because they're kind of Peasants.

The worrying thing is either because our decaying public school system or because of previous head injuries, people are actually believing this scripted reality manure as real. Its not. Its scripted reality, with the emphasis being on scripted. As fake and as crap as Big Brother was at least even that wasn’t scripted.

It seems to be never ending, there’s always someone willing to spill there private scripted life into everyone’s living rooms. No one needs to know the ups and downs, the highs and lows of Peter Andre’s cheesy life. Or celebrate how many lines of cocaine Kerry katona hasn’t snorted that day, while she is being drug tested and literally provides urine samples on camera to prove to the nation she’s clean. This woman then has the cheek to moan that her privacy’s being invaded and she’s constantly being chased and followed by people; I wonder if it’s ever occurred to her that perhaps these people were actually her previous drug dealers? Note to katona: pay your debts Bitch.

But now let’s go and see a celebrity that actually has a job. Recently I interviewed Bradford born, Natalie kills who has been described as the new Lady Gaga, she’s actually from the same record label and has the same creative team. Isn’t it sad though that we already have a " new Lady Gaga" seems like 5 minutes ago she was the new Madonna, I don’t mind them selling us old ideas in a new way as long as its done without insulting anyone’s intelligence.

She seemed very dark and moody and was all about the message in songs. Hear was a culturally aware, intelligent young woman who although very stylish obviously had substance to back it up, she was talking her talk and walking her walk, and I listened, then I started to ask questions, which is when it all went a bit wrong. I asked her to describe her look in 3 words, she replied " kill your ex boyfriend clothes" obviously not a follower of stupid rules as her reply was clearly more than the 3 words requested.

I decided I would let her redeem herself by asking her my next high brow question so I asked her if David Cameron was to invite her to compete in the Olympics next year, what sport would she compete in? After a very few awkward minutes where it became clear that she had no idea who he was I eventually explained that David Cameron was our Prime Minster, she found this news quite shocking. So did I. She then told me she would probably do skateboarding. I didn’t have the heart to tell her but unfortunately skateboarding is not an Olympic sport. So she turned out to be just another well rehearsed air headed dumbfuck with a manufactured image and message.

I don’t watch much TV anymore, if any. But it’s not all bad; there are still some really good programmes on. There is Celebrity Juice, which is immature but hilarious and The 10 o’clock Show on a Thursday on Channel 4 is funny yet very politically informative. The most important thing is that we have choice, even if it’s between watching TOWIE or a cow giving birth to a calf on ITV Vet School, you have a choice to switch off your TV, pick up a book and learn something instead of wasting time watching dumb people encourage you to be as dumb as them. As long as the author of the book is not called Katie price.