I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing - Marilyn Monroe



Photograph by Ed Feingersh

WOULD ALL POSSIBLE FUTURE EMPLOYERS LOOK AWAY NOW PLEASE.

I utterly concur with my old mate Norma Jean here. We are clearly both singing from the exact same hymm sheet.  I have precisely the same issues ! I like to think of it as "Divine Intervention" because the things that make me late are mostly obscure, bizarre, completely out of my control events and just typical bad luck.

Dont get me wrong , othertimes its random stuff like Youtube, a cheeky cigarette break at Starbucks or sometimes, just like Marilyn, something altogether more pleasing.
But theres times its been my bus thats broken down, my mobile phone also acts as my alarm clock and the battery ran out in the middle of the night or even an Elephant escape at the local zoo which  played havoc with the traffic ( yeh, I said Elephant. Thats my story and im sticking to it you pessimistic Bastard)

But for me the bottom line here is fate , there are times when your just simply supposed to be late, its all part of Gods Masterplan. If I had been on time for some of my jobs I would never have got sacked therefore I wouldnt have moved to London and you would not be reading the invaluable wisdom that you are now. Or, if I was on time I might have ran across the road at the wrong time and been knocked over by a streesed out driver who was driving erratically so he wasnt going to be late, were all intertwined in this fate shit you see. 

So the message is pretty clear, dont mess up the big guys complex plans and just go with the flow by accepting  that its your destiny, dont stress yourself out or fight against it ...just live your life like a candle in the wind for fucks sake.