I found this in my email, I actually sent it to my law lecturer, clearly still drunk when I wrote it...oh dear.

Hey Jacqui
Im terribly sorry but with great regret I wont be able to make it in today due to an unfortunate bobsleigh accident. It happened Yesterday while I was in Papa New Guinea, where I had been visiting some diplomatic dignitaries at the embassy to personally thank them after they foiled a cunning kidnapping plot against me by some church of scientology extremists.The ambassador also wanted to discuss my knowledge of the J. Dempster teachings of employment law.
Speaking of employment law , and my knowledge of it, im aware that today is the assesment for it and therefor its highly unlikley that im going to make it in. Naturally this has caused me manic hysteria and colosal heartbreak.
But armed with my acute inability to ever give up hope in times of adversity and a work ethic to surpass the Fuhrer Adolf Hitler on crystal meth, I boldly look forward to the next battle, aka the re-assesment, which I will be more than happy to have a crack at the whip at when you set a date thats convenient.
Talking of whips , please find attached inappropriate photographs of me as requested.
see you wednesday


Dean